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you fail to the difference. You did not stand up for yourself when he cheated. You did not stand up for yourself when he hid that he was still seeing her. No instead of making any demands on him you decided that sneaking around and cheating with several other people would be the thing to do. It really is the perfect example of passive behavior. Do you how unhealthy it is to say you made no demands on him when he cheated on you. Your self-esteem is very low. You don't feel like you deserve to be his equal and I would like to understand why you feel that way? Do you know? 
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 I read a good analogy of relationships vs. casual relationships. In one, you are both "co-piloting" the direction of the plane, so to speak. You communicate and compromise together on equal footing. There is a balance of and respect. Lonely wants real sex Clarence-Rockland The casual relationship is one where there is a driver, and the other is the passenger. The driver steers in any direction of (his) choice, while the passenger just reacts to his decisions, usually more in (and afraid of losing the other) than the driver. It sounds to me like you are the passenger, waiting for the shoe to drop. You have a choice: since you've waited too to communicate what you're looking for in a relationship (- term goals included), here's your to just come out and tell him. For instance, sit him down and say, "I am looking for a monogamous relationship, and plan to get married within the next years (or whatever you have in mind). Are you willing to go with my program? How do you yourself in those plans?" Or, you could continue being the passenger, live in fear of abandonment, and play nice. It sounds like you avoid confrontation, but I'll tell you one thing: when you don't express your thoughts, feelings, or boundaries/expectations, you are bullying yourself. It's a form of low self-worth. Think about it: if you tell a what your needs are, and he runs for the hills, is that the kind of you want to be in a relationship with? Why wouldn't you tell it like it is? If you want a to respect you, then you have to start respecting yourself. I found a place on Division that was good (can't remember the name of the place, but close to New Seasons as well). And I think the Cafe on Woodstock have it as well, though I confess I am women want sex dating not as big on the BBQ here .just not the same.
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